we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
