playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
