she sounds like chewbacca in bed
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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