Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
