He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Randomize
