So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
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