Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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