I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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