I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
