physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
