My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I just googled if crying burns calories
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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