So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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