i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
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