its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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