It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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