why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You have to summon your inner elephant
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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