I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
