i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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