If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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