I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
