all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
