I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
