So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
40s are totally the cure
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
