Having a random hookup so left but love u
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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