I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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