Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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