oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
