dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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