He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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