The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
