I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
