it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
