I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize