I think I died a long time ago.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
