Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Randomize
