At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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