my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Be still, my beating vagina.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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