ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
