omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
