and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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