I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
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Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
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I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"