what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
