He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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