I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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