The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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