Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
