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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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