his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
