Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
