There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
