OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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