I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize