...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
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I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
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Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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