I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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