FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
