If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
