We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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